I’ve gained a lot of things since I became pregnant. But I think I lost my funny. Overall, pregnancy has left me with a downright jovial feeling – I am twitterpated most of the time. And life is so good right now that I didn’t realize I had lost my funny until I sat down to spin wittiness for Momtastic.
I didn’t know your funny was actually something you could lose but I have no funny left.
When I started this gig, my cute anecdotes were about how pregnancy robbed me daily of yet another piece of modesty, decorum, or self-delusion. None of this was news to you readers who are pregnant or have been pregnant before because it’s happened to you too. But it was entertaining — admit it — to watch some newbie be stripped of her self-respect. Kinda like sorority hazing.
Funny stuff does still happen, but all seems to fall under the category of TMI. Seriously, I have to draw the line somewhere. My funny now is the kind you don’t mention in polite company. And since I am too bloody tired to care much about anything, I have to invent a new way for me to judge what’s appropriate for posting. Some people wouldn’t write something they wouldn’t want their mother to read. But I have a really open relationship with my mom, and she’s pretty damn earthy, so there isn’t much that I think would offend her. And I work with kindergartners, so I am way too used to an audience that would appreciate the other main source of laughter in my house, pregnancy-induced farting.
So I have a new threshold. I have to imagine whatever I post being displayed on a big screen in the auditorium with the whole PTA there. And the teachers’ union. And the principal.
OK. Here’s a safe one. The other night I was watching TV with my husband. I was making snarky, cranky comments about the people in TV-land. It got to the point where I had to put my hands over my mouth to filter myself. I looked at my husband and said, “I used to be so nice. What the hell happened to me?” He was still snorting from the comment I made before about some sad, sad man in a hairnet and didn’t hear me. Does he think I still have some funny? No. He just knows he must humor his huge pregnant wife. And I can live with that. For now. But remind me, when this is all done, to ask for my funny back.