Really, I’m generally very good natured, but there are certain things that, as a parent, make me want to drive over my own head with my Phil and Ted’s double stroller.
Some of these are:
1. People who use my child’s voice to comment on my parenting – “Oh, mommy, I need my nose wiped!” Or, “Mommy, my hands are so cold, where are my gloves??” I wiped his nose with his gloves five minutes ago and that’s what got us in this situation.
2. Other parents who don’t really bother parenting their own children – like when the four-year old built like an oil tanker yanks my kid’s fire truck out of his hands, and I have to run after him to retrieve it, while Oil Tanker’s parent says things like, “Oh Oil Tanker, now that’s not ours, sweetheart.” Oil Tanker knows it’s not his, this is why he’s running.
(Now I know what I say about judging other parents, but when they make me run, I get testy.)
3. People who tell me my child is sleepy when I know perfectly well he’s not – No, he just looks that way because he doesn’t like you. (This may be a personal one, as I am constantly being told I look sleepy – which is helpful to me exactly how? It can hardly be taken as a compliment, and yet is remarkably unconstructive.)
4. Kids’ specials at restaurants that are served at a piping 800 degrees.
5. People who put my child on the spot with questions beyond his ability – the gentleman in the park who showed us his ferret and then demanded that my eager-to-please four-year old spell “Ferret.” This gentleman then proceeded to spell it himself, F – E – T – ummmm… so there may have been deeper seated issues in this case. But still.
6. People who nominate my husband for sainthood because I get a night out on my own – “Oh, is your husband babysitting? Isn’t that nice for you!” Yes, he is a great guy. But in my world, when a parent is taking care of his own kids, we don’t call it babysitting. We call it parenting.
Okay, now you go.