If you are anything like me, 99% of my “mom friends” exist through Internet connections alone.
I have my girl friends, my work friends and even some church friends, but when it comes to real life mom friends, I admit, I’m running low.
I’m not sure why it’s so hard to connect with other moms and cultivate new relationships. Perhaps it’s our fear of being judged for our parenting style or sometimes more accurately and honestly, our judgment of theirs (I just can’t be friends with a mom who doesn’t discipline her kids). Maybe it’s that moms seem to run in cliques (you know the working moms, stay-at-home moms, the my-kid-is-better-than-your-kid moms, and so on…) and our emotional selves don’t like to feel left out or like we’re late to a party we really weren’t invited to. Perhaps it is something even simpler: we don’t have the energy to fester up the guts required to overcome the awkwardness involved in saying “Hi, let’s be friends.”
While I don’t know precisely why it’s hard to make mom friends, I do know that it’s a little like dating, in the sense that you seem to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince, or at least another mom you really connect with. And like anything else, the more you put yourself out there, the more likely you’ll find a connection.
If you’re like me and running low in the mom friend department, don’t give up.
Continuing to do the things that you love doing with your children. When you do, you’ll likely end up in places with moms who share similar interests. If you like to hike, for example, do it and notice and talk to other moms who are there. If you like to go to church, do it and start chatting with other moms who have children your age. I love going to the playground with my children and I recently ran into a mom there and we connected! You never know when or where you’ll find a mom connection.
Joining or starting a local Meetup group for moms in your area. Attend or host playdates and get to know the moms with similar aged children in your community. In addition to making a few mom connections, I’ve visited some great places my children have really enjoyed.
Attending community events and kids classes. Many communities host children’s events ranging from story hour at the library to mommy and me music classes. Check them out and use them as an opportunity to meet other moms. One of my closest mom friends and I met at a Music Together Class.
Finding moms you truly relate to can be challenging but they are out there. Sometimes you have to go out of your comfort zone and take the first step, but chances are, they desire to connect with you as much as you do with them.