There is so much pressure for perfection in our mom-o-theistic society.
Aside from trying to live a healthy, organic lifestyle-everywhere I look I am barraged by media that makes me feel I should also be hip, trendy, and fabulous. Is it not enough to try and make it through each day without having a nervous breakdown when you have babies and toddlers in the house? No, get out there and be fashionable. Didn’t you get the memo that skinny jeans were back in style? How did you miss the workshop on tribal tunics?
The truth is, it is simply not possible to spend as much time on ourselves as we did before we had children, unless we are Angelina Jolie and employ six nannies on a regular basis. However, once we’ve made it through the infant hump and are getting more than three hours of sleep per night, there are some tricks for bringing sexy back and maximizing that mommy mojo. Here are a few from my treasure trove:
1. Daily showers are hard to come by, but a good perfume is not. Seek out a nice fragrance that is bold enough to disguise that three-day-old BO.
2. Dress up your daily duds with a pair of trendy shoes. All of a sudden your stained T-shirt and jeans looks like a fashion statement rather than an accident. (Same goes for a cute pair of earrings or a necklace.)
3. Take after the movie stars and toss on a baseball cap, sunglasses, and lipstick. You are incognito and glamorous. Hey, maybe your children won’t even recognize you!
4. Forgo the cosmetics and get your eyebrows waxed. A good eyebrow waxing alone can give you a very polished look.
5. Get your toes done with a French manicure and sport your ten-year-old flip-flops with pride. Even if those toes haven’t been washed in days and your toe lint is building up like nobody’s business, no one will ever guess.
6. Get a fabulous new haircut and highlights. The color damage alone will help it go longer between washings without looking greasy. And that, my friends, is always a plus.
7. Spice things up a bit by going commando under your favorite sun dress. And don’t forget to mention this to your husband either. You’ll be sure to peak his interest, no matter how long it’s been since you last waxed or shaved.
8. Buy yourself a fashionable hoodie, hip pair of jeans, and a couple of new T-shirts. Even if you only wear those same four items in rotation, at least you won’t be wearing your worn-out maternity clothes anymore.
9. Add a thong to your low-rise jeans and when you spend half your day crawling around on the floor after your baby, at least your plumber’s crack will feel that much more appealing.
10. Or just be like me and declare funky as the new sexy. Sweat suits are the ultimate in vogue trendsetting fashion and stains are the hottest new accessory. Wear that greasy ponytail with pride and be assured that you are doing everything in your power to bring sexy back–mommy mojo style!